


At My Worst

by ThatDamnKennedyKid



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Bonding, Canon Related, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 08:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15927083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDamnKennedyKid/pseuds/ThatDamnKennedyKid
Summary: Cullen had only met Adessa Cousland once, while foaming at the mouth a gibbering vengefully. What he didn't expect, especially after the Blight ended, was for the Queen of Ferelden to care about one crazy templar.





	At My Worst

"Rutherford, you've got a letter."

He looked up from his hands, the visions of desire demons tracing the tendons vanishing. "Pardon?"

Samson tossed him the letter. "From Ferelden."

"Thank you." He picked it up gingerly, as though it might turn into a dragon and eat him. He managed to open it up to reveal a benign sheet of paper, marked in quill scratchings and ink. "How did Mia wins me so quickly?"

He unfolded the parchment - greater quality than Mia would have access to - to find aristocratic handwriting in neat lines. 

_Templar Rutherford,_

_You are certainly a hard man to get a hold of if you choose to be, aren't you? Unfortunately for you, I am a Queen now, and as such have access to many people inside the Chantry, including your dispatcher._

_I don't know if you recall me, since you were in no right state at the Calenhad Circle. My companions and I rescued you from the demoness holding you hostage at the top of the tower - the Wardens with the red hair. I've never seen someone withstand that kind of mental pressure, and I applaud your resilience, but of everyone on this earth, I am one of the few likely to understand what this kind of resilience really costs._

_I have written you because I am concerned for your wellbeing and, if I can, to offer aid. I imagine the lure of Desire is similar to the frightening lull of the Archdemon's song - something evil and wrong, but tempting the deepest part of you. If it would assist you, you may feel free to write me at your leisure. I fully expect this letter to go without response, but my offer will stand heedless of any coming disaster._

_I hope to hear from you, Cullen._

_Your sister in arms,_

_(Queen, I guess) Adessa Cousland_

He stared down at the letter for some time, trying to comprehend it. Eventually, he set it aside in defeat and collapsed in bed to sleep. 

He dreamt of a redheaded Warden woman, a warrior wielding two blades and shining in silver armour splattered in blood. He dreamt of her gold-plated companion - the King, now - and her ruddy beige Mabari, Howling in victory. 

He dreamt of being saved. 

* * *

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_It seems you are indeed resourceful. I am well. Thank you for your concern, though it is not necessary._

_Knight Rutherford_

* * *

Ideally, that would have been the end of it. He send her the letter, assuaged her guilt and goes on without a Queen's attention hounding him. 

But then, he is not ideal. 

_Knight Rutherford,_

_Maker's mercy, I thought I would never hear from you again! Alistair tells me the scullery maids still titter about the yell of victory I had when I received your return letter. Apparently, my lack of etiquette perplexes them. As if spending the last few months in a warzone and sleeping in the forest would leave me room for little things like etiquette. Bah._

_That said, there is absolutely no need to lie. It has been less than a year since Calenhad and it was a disaster. You cannot, in good conscience, tell me you sleep easy. No one would after an ordeal like that._

_I should like to tell you more of Ferelden, since you have left, but I'm afraid I am short on time this evening._

_Fare thee well and write me soon._

_Your sister in arms,_

_(Queen) Adessa Cousland_

* * *

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_You needn't worry for me. I assure you, I am fine. It is unnecessary to attempt to comfort me, however much I appreciate the gesture._

_Knight Rutherford_

* * *

_Knight Rutherford,_

_I do many things already that are necessary. It comes with the burden of rule, I'm afraid. You'll have to forgive me for finding my own necessities in a time and position where everyone feels they can decide that for me._

_Also, I do not appreciate your attempts at distraction. Your mind needs healing, and that means the infection in your mind and heart must be exposed before they can be excised. It is unpleasant and painful, I understand. As a show of faith and comraderie, I will expose to you my wound and share my experience so that we may understand one another better._

_I was born in Highever, to the Couslands as you are aware. When Warden Commander Duncan came looking to conscript, my father offered one of the men of our house to go in the place of my brother and I. Ser Gilmore - he had been a friend and then some to me, and I was sorry to see him go. That is, however, before Arl Howe of Amaranthine - ostensibly an ally and close friend - decided he wanted the Teyrnir for himself. He attacked us at night, after Fergus left with the main host to Ostagar. My mother, father and Gilmore perished. I very vividly remember the entire event, despite not having returned even once. I sincerely doubt I will ever step foot there again._

_I have other stories - Blight ones, of course - if you wish to hear them. Perhaps the fate of the Arl and his family would do you some good. I should also like to know more about you, since we are corresponding._

_Your sister in arms,_

_(Queen-ish) Adessa Cousland_

* * *

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_I assure you I am in a right state of mind once more. Kirkwall has provided me stability and distance, somewhat, from the events at Calenhad._

_I am also sorry to hear this news about your family. Did your brother survive, or perish at Ostagar as well?_

_I am also not opposed to learning more about the Blight. I was not involved, and you were, more so than most._

_Knight Rutherford_

He hoped that didn't sound as desperate as he felt it looked. He sent the letter anyway. 

* * *

_Knight Rutherford,_

_I find it difficult to believe Kirkwall can bring anyone any measure of peace. Highever was one of its chief trading partners and not one merchant from that city managed to look savoury. Perhaps the Circle there is different, I can't say. Perhaps all the boring old-fashioned chaos of crime and corruption are refreshing after having experienced such otherworldly unpleasantness._

_I am writing you now from Vigil's Keep in the Arling of Amaranthine instead of Denerim. Reports of darkspawn have increased. This is not abnormal, persay, since the main bulk of the horde had to go somewhere, but the reports indicate the attacks are coordinated and methodical. That is the more troubling aspect, as the Archdemon is slain. I'm investigating further._

_On an unrelated note, do you happen to know a ginger by the name of Anders? He's a jolly sarcastic sort, likes accessories._

_As for Blight stories, I imagine they'll make good tale to your fellow Templars when the evening is dull, or just good reading for you. I'll endeavour to make them sound worthwhile._

_To begin, after the fall is Ostagar, I was rescued by a Witch of the Wilds and her daughter. She recovered myself, Alistair and my Mabari, Argonath, from the tower of Ishal. I woke up in her hut in the Kocari Wilds. Alistair had been terrified I'd been killed, since we were fighting three darkspawn ogres at the time. They'd also managed to recover some of the other recruited Wardens before they found us at Ishal - a Dalish named Eyarin, the twins Penra and Jaris Aedeucan and a carta assassin by the name of Larin. Her daughter, Morrigan, joined us after I recovered and we headed north to Lothering._

_I met a sister in the tavern there, and also discovered that I now had a reputation. The Traitor Warden, said to have left King Cailan to die on the battlefield. (Which explains, of course, why only six Wardens survived the massacre and Loghain's men drank beer and went home, but I digress.) She assisted me in changing the good opinion of some left over soldiery and corrupted local minds. On our way out, we came across a Sten - a Qunari scout who was imprisoned for the murder of a family. The sister, Leliana, convinced the Revered Mother to allow us to take him and put him to good use._

_Leaving Lothering, we found a dwarven trader by the name of Bodahn Feddic being harassed by darkspawn. We killed them for him and went about our business. He met up with us later and became part of our small caravan. Him, and his son, Sandal. Very lovely dwarves._

_Who have you met in your time in Kirkwall? Interesting people I'd imagine._

_Fare thee well and write soon._

_Warden Commander Adessa Cousland_

* * *

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_My headache this week has escalated to a migraine. i can't begin to think why, but about the only light that doesn't irritate is candlelight._

_Knight-Commander Meredith is a talented Templar and a good leader. I find the conditions in this Circle stricter than the previous, but that's not a bad thing._

_Some of the junior knights have a steeped lack of responsibility and I find it somewhat alarming. I can't keep them out of the brothels. Perhaps that is the origin of my migraine, but it is hard to say in this city. The Templars do more policing than the guard does and I'm not entirely assured that's for the best. Meredith's methods work for the Circle because our charges are dangerous, but regular civilians? I'm not certain._

_Actually, yes, I do believe I know Anders. He escaped several times, but was largely harmless. A spirit healer, as I recall. I suppose he rather did enjoy accessories. You've met him?_

_I think that's enough airing of my grievances. What happened after Lothering? I know you made it to the Circle, but not when in your journey._

_Senior Knight Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

_Senior Knight Rutherford,_

_The situation at Amaranthine has escalated, but I must be light on details. I'm afraid the Banns have coalesced against Alistair's decree and are not a fan of my ruling tactic as Arlessa. Even so, I must not give them true cause to worry until such time as the problem is mostly resolved._

_I actually have Anders as a travelling companion. Him and his templar escort were caught in a darkspawn raid and they perished in the fighting, but I managed to save Anders from a similar fate. Have I informed you of my templar status? It's not well known - Alistair taught me - but I figured you could appreciate it._

_What was guiding us in the Blight was a copy of the Ferelden Warden treaties, which obliged assistance from mages, dwarves and the Dalish. We approached the dwarves first, since Alistair was the most senior Warden and had only been so for just over a year. We needed help with darkspawn, and they seemed the wisest choice._

_What wound up happening was the four of us getting caught up in Penra and Jaris' fight for the throne of Orzammar. Their younger brother, Bhelen, framed them for the murder of their elder brother and had them exiled, which was where Duncan found them. Penra's second and Lord Harrowmont tried to aid us, but there was only so far their influence could go._

_Harrowmont suggested finding a Paragon - Branka, who had gone on an expedition to the Deep Roads and not returned. Even if we didn't find her alive, bringing back a token would make it seem we had the ancestors' favour. (I am still not entirely sure how dwarven culture operates, but I imagine the Chantry is equally baffling to them.)_

_The only living member of her house to hand was her husband, Oghren. We found him as he intended to be for the rest of his life - reeking of weeks-old filth and sloppy drunk. He's become a very dear friend, one who I must keep at an arm's length to keep from retching, but dear nonetheless. (He's here with me in Amaranthine, actually. I've never seen someone down something as vile as the Joining elixir and manage not only to stay standing, but critique it's not-poor-enough quality.) He joined us on our mission to locate Branka, and we entered the Deep Roads in such a fashion._

_We found her trail. Then we found her household. Then we found Branka._

_Alistair pointed out to me that there have never been many female Wardens when we met, and it was in the deep that we discovered why that was._

_Have you any idea how darkspawn manufacture themselves? It's a grizzly process, as one might expect, but no description of it could ever have prepared me. I could have been a Warden for a thousand years and still wished to flee. Branka's lover - the only non-mutilated member of the household left alive - explained the process thusly:_

_The men are taken and eaten or torn apart. The women are beaten and secured to walls. Then they are force-fed the remains of the men. Once the transformation begins, they never cease to hunger. They eat and eat and eat, then begin to spawn. They become hideous, raw sacs of flesh grown into the ground they were secured to, with a writhing mass of tentacles that burrow into the ground._

_We killed it, but I have never been so primally terrified in my entire life. Never once has failure in combat had such high stakes, even fighting the Archdemon. At most, I died and reduced the chances of success. But in the dark, in the cradle of my enemy, I knew failure would lend me her fate, worse than the most violent of deaths. Even Morrigan was aghast, and not often is she speechless._

_We found what Branka had been looking for - the Anvil. It was a device that could create golems, but that price came at a life. Shale, another of my companions, was one such creature. The Paragon who had created the Anvil was still there with it, betrayed by his apprentices and turned into a hulking metal golem. We had the choice then, to allow Branka and her madness to return with the Anvil, or do as Cadash pleaded and allow him and the wretched device to sink into the magma. We took Branka's life and adopted Oghren as a permanent member of our party. The crown we brought back cemented the Assembly's opinion of Harrowmont and Penra. We had to kill Bhelen too, before our time there was done._

_I suppose there is no such thing as a simple task for a Warden._

_Are migraines common for you? I hope you can manage to wrangle your juniors' penises, or this will be a long tenure for you._

_Fare thee well and write soon._

_Warden Commander Adessa Cousland._

* * *

 

_Dear Warden Commander Cousland,_

_I have them more often now, more than I did in Ferelden, but they are a byproduct of lyrium. I am not the only one to experience them, but we are taught how to suppress them as well._

_I have no words to express my sympathy for your situation, nor the comprehension necessary to understand the horror you faced in the Deep Roads. Your words evoke imagery that makes me shudder still._

_Anders is slippery. I would keep a tight leash on him, lest you wind up in the same unfortunate position as his escort, whether by his hand or not._

_My issues now number mostly in small annoyances and an innate sense that something is off. I can't say what that would be, just that it is there._

_Hopefully you travelled somewhere more pleasant after Orzammar._

_Senior Knight Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

Weeks passed in silence and while he was not exactly nervous for her wellbeing, he was irritated more and more at losing the correspondence. He had become dependant on it, whether he wished to or not, and it made him less than palatable for a few months. 

He regretted it when her letter did arrive.

* * *

 

_Knight Rutherford,_

_Dreadfully sorry. The escalation I discussed? Yes, well, that situation was a sentient darkspawn and Broodmother battling with Amaranthine in the middle._

_I had to run to the City of Amaranthine to save it from being overrun while Nathaniel held Vigil's Keep with Oghren. It was bloody and terrible, and I have been working to restore order and garner aid from nearby Arlings and from Denerim. It has been an all-encompassing nightmare._

_Anders has slipped away, like you suggested he might, but that's okay. He's a Grey Warden, and has earned such freedom after this ordeal._

_However, Amaranthine is almost restored. I'm going to appoint Nathaniel as steward and allow him to run the Arl in my place. I've been away from Denerim too long. Quite frankly, I miss my husband._

_The next place we travelled was south, during the Blight. We went to Lake Calenhad and were accosted by an ambush. Loghain hired a Crow to kill us, Zevran, but he was not successful. Instead, we spared his life and Eyarin took command of his custody._

_We entered the fray at the Circle afterwards, which I will not relive for your sake._

_I'm sorry to cut this letter so short, but I need to return to work._

_Fare thee well and write soon._

_Adessa Cousland_

* * *

 

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_I hope the situation rectifies itself swiftly for you. It sounds an unfortunate circumstance. They like you follow you, it seems._

_I've heard rumour about a Grey Warden healer in Dark Town. I plan on leaving him be, assuming it is Anders, since he is doing what we cannot._

_Are you very excited to see King Theirin again?_

_Senior Knight Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

 

_Knight Rutherford,_

_If you can, please leave Anders alone. He's not someone who should bother you. Templars, after all, are the last kind of people he's looking to meet now. His Grey Warden status should protect him regardless, but I've heard rumour about your Knight-Commander that are . . . not flattering._

_Regardless, I am pleased to inform you that Amaranthine is doing well and recovering hastily. Mistress Woolsey is a hard woman, but good at her job and my Senechal will make a good advisor for Nathaniel, as he did for me. As for myself, I am back in Denerim. The welcome I received was . . . worth the wait. Have you anyone you fancy in Kirkwall? I'm curious as to what kind of person would catch the eye of a man such as yourself._

_As for the next stage of our journey, we found ourselves in Redcliffe._

_Redcliffe was a mess, put gently. The dead were rising (and Orlais wonders why we burn them), Bann Teagen had been kicked out of the castle, Arl Eamon had been poisoned, his son Conner was possessed by a demon and all the knights were out looking for the Urn of Sacred Ashes at Isolde's request._

_We fought through our first night there and bought the town enough time to regroup and prepare better defences. We rested a few hours, then Teagan led us to a escape passage for the family inside the old windmill._

_Inside the castle, we found more risen dead and demons running freely. We fought our way through the castle and found Conner holding Isolde in the throne room. He didn't seem to have any ill will toward her, but he was clearly possessed. Conner's apostate teacher, Jowan, told us that the only ways to break such a strong hold was either with blood magic or through the use of experienced mages and a lot of lyrium. Alistair vetoed the first option, naturally, so we went back to the Circle to ask for First Enchanter Irving's help. I looked for you then, but was told by Gregor that you had transferred out, though he hadn't been aware of where to._

_Irving and Gregor agreed to help us and sent a small contingency of the remaining mages and Templars with us to Redcliffe. Jowan was sent in to free the boy from the demon's control and was successful. Conner was restored and the unread attacks ceased, but Eamon still needed tending._

_I am being called away to court - Alistair loves how they are intimidated by me - so I will continue in my next letter to you._

_Fare thee well and write soon._

_(Queen of Ferelden, possibly?) Adessa Cousland_

* * *

 

_Queen Cousland,_

_It is my turn to apologize for a tardy reply. Many things have come to my attention recently, many of them unpleasant._

_Slavers have been spotted and Tevinter bounty hunters have been scouring the city more often than not. A small refugee family has begun to stir up trouble - the Hawkes, if I recall correctly - by mounting an expedition into the Deep Roads. I've also recently been informed they've become close with Anders. Old records state there was an ambush mounted at his clinic in Darktown, but no final reports, meaning they perished in the assault. I fear my Knight-Commander is hiding things from me._

_Has news made it down to you yet that the Qunari have invaded the city? An Arishok has taken up residence here. He's looking for something, though he will not discuss anything with us._

_My migraines are more frequent now and becoming steadily harder to endure. Your correspondence helps. My fellows don't understand my worries. They think the frequency of escaping mages and incidents of blood magic will sort themselves out with enough application of force and intolerance. Mages must be contained, but some of the things the men get away with doing is reprehensible._

_I am pleased to hear you are once more safe inside Denerim, and I am glad Amaranthine is recovering. It is not easy after disasters such as that._

_Uh, no. I find myself in little taste for company other than friendship, and such a need is fulfilled in these letters. It's a mystery to me how the youngest of us have no problem whiling away their coin in a brothel when the city is in turmoil, while mages and abominations break loose._

_I suppose there is no rest for the wicked or the just. Just a question of which you are._

_The Urn, you say? The myth? Is that where you went next?_

_Knight-Captain Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

 

_Knight-Captain Rutherford,_

_What a fancy new title you have there._

_Is there anything you wish to have? I know you left Ferelden for good reason, but perhaps something to remind you of the comforts? I'd go so far as to send you a Mabari, if it please you. Argonath is a father to a new litter - one of them is grey area with white lines. Anything you desire, name it and it will be so._

_I will keep all of our correspondence strictly personal, but do you need assistance? Unofficial assistance? I can walk where you cannot, and I am not so distinct as to be noticed immediately lurking the city. Eyarin and Zevran would have no problems stopping over as a favour._

_After Conner, Alistair, Argonath, Eyarin and I travelled together to Denerim in search of Father Genetivi. Larin, Penra, Jaris and the remainder of our company stayed behind to secure Redcliffe and monitor the Arl's condition. His aide told us he was not there, but that he had gone on the hunt for the Urn himself, his notes on the subject leading him to a small town named Haven._

_Haven was in the seat of the Frostback Mountains, on the other side of Calenhad. The locals were odd, distrustful. We found them headed by a cultist who possessed some sort of controlling amulet. We gained a key and headed up the path to the mountains. It was there we found what Most Holy calls the Conclave. I imagine it was Andraste's palace, or a remains from the ancient elvhen times. Monsters lurked there, and some demons. Behind the Conclave was the nest of a High Dragon, who the locals were worshipping as Andraste reborn. The most fanatical cultists had to be slain, and we fought the dragon. At the top of the path we came to a small room where the ancient spirit of a man informed us we would have to pass trials to be worthy of the Ashes._

_The moment I recall most clearly was an apparition of my father, who told me he believed in me and my fortitude. Alistair saw Duncan, his mentor who was slain at Ostagar. Eyarin saw her friend Tamlen. Neither were keen to share their ghosts' words, but then neither was I._

_There were two more puzzles, as I recall, then we were allowed into the chamber. The Urn was indeed there, and I gathered some of her ashes into an herb bag and left. Eamon was running out of time, and it was not a quick journey back._

_(Did I mention we discovered and saved Genetivi from the cultists? We did. He works now in the Chantry library in Denerim.)_

_Back in Redcliffe, we mixed the Ashes into water and fed it to the Arl. He woke an hour later, completely cured. Jowan confessed to us that he had been employed by Loghain to poison Conner as soon as the boy's magical nature was revealed._

_I conscripted Jowan after he was released from prison and he's been an excellent asset._

_Eamon then began to prepare his forces while we went for the final treaty._

_Warden (Queen) Adessa Cousland_

* * *

 

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_I can't have any outside interference now. Something is brewing and it is troubling._

_Airida Hawke, the third of the five Hawke siblings, has defeated the Arishok in single combat and won the city back for us. I don't even know how to describe the events that just transpired._

_Were you being serious? You would send me a Mabari? The thought makes me long for home. We're not allowed to maintain personal items, and a pet would be among them. We don't even have professional Mabari. A shame, really. Perhaps one day. I don't have anything I needs  or want, truly. Everything is provided for us._

_Jowan, you said? I hoped in your letter previous it had been a misnomer. He was a blood mage that escaped the Circle. He's very dangerous - be cautious if you intend to keep him around._

_I can't believe you actually found the Urn. I had thought it was just fanciful rumour spawned around your great deed. I am in even more awe of you than I already was. Am I allowed to speak of it to others? Tell the story?_

_Where did you go next?_

_Knight-Captain Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

 

_Knight-Captain Rutherford,_

_That's a damn shame. No Fereldan should ever be without their Mabari. It would be like separating Orlais from court murder, or Antiva from orgies. It simply isn't done._

_Our next outing was to the Brecilian Forest, where Eyarin was from. Her own clan had moved north, but she was the one who dealt mostly with it. From what I gather, a Keeper cursed a village of humans who attacked them to turn into werewolves. Alistair and I were more of a mercenary duo during that excursion and I'm still not entirely sure how it all got resolved._

_After that, we returned to Redcliffe to plot against Loghain. Eamon had a plan, and we travelled to Denerim to execute it._

_Adessa Cousland_

* * *

 

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_That letter was shorter than the others. Are you well?_

_King Theirin was here not too long ago to talk with Commander Meredith and I gather from Airida Hawke it didn't go smoothly. You weren't with him, from the reports. Are you alright? I know you adore him._

_Knight-Captain Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

 

_Dear Queen Cousland,_

_Your absence is beginning to worry me. I've heard nothing about you in rumour from Ferelden. Are you alright?_

_Knight-Captain Cullen Rutherford_

* * *

 

_Dear Queen Adessa,_

_I keep asking if anything has happened in Denerim. Travellers can tell me nothing. If you are unable, please ask the King to write me._

_Knight-Captain Cullen_

* * *

 

_Dear Queen Adessa,_

_The Knight-Commander has found this substance - red lyrium. She's been hoarding what of it we have, but she seems more and more aggressive and unhinged._

_I'm worried for the Templars and mages here. I'm worried for the entire city._

_If this letter does not reach you, please, King Alistair, I am so worried for her. Let me know if she is okay._

_Knight-Captain Cullen_

* * *

 

Three years passed in silence. 

* * *

 

_Dear Adessa,_

_Anders blew up the Chantry and killed the Revered Mother. The city is in chaos. It's like the world is ending. Meredith is now a statue, consumed by that evil lyrium._

_I . . . I don't know what to do. You might be dead, or worse, but I could use your help._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Dear Cullen,_

_My sincerest apologies, firstly. I should have informed you of what occurred, but time was of the essence._

_I discovered there might be a cure for the Joining - a way to remove the Taint from a Warden. I had to chase it as soon as it came to me. I stayed only long enough to sharpen my swords and kiss Alistair goodbye. My address for the letters was actually Arl Reagan's estate in Denerim, not the castle. The nobles we forced into submission were just waiting for a scandal, and those letters would have been it._

_I have been beyond the Western Approach and past the Hissing Wastes. I rested at then moved on from the Forbidden Oasis. Out in the wildest of wildernesses, I believe I have found what I set out to find._

_I am so sorry, Cullen. So, so sorry. I wish I could have been there for you. I will write Alistair and have him send aid. Do not give up hope, Cullen. If nothing else, you can always give up your life in the Order. A home shall await you in Denerim, always._

_Try not to worry yourself too much over me. My writing will be scarce for now, but I will endeavour to reply as swiftly as I can._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_You said you're a templar. I thought I might have hallucinated it, but I checked back. You did. How did you get lyrium? You and Alistair, for that matter?_

_I'm so lost and the nightmares make it hard to sleep._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_Alistair and I never used lyrium. We still don't._

_I believe now it is my turn to be worried for you. Stay safe, and do what you must to stay sane. No matter how difficult. Nothing is worth the loss of your mind._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_The Right Hand of the Divine approached me for a position in Most Holy's new plan. She intends to declare an Inquisition, to bring peace back to Thedas._

_I agreed._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_I am so happy for you. I heard about Justinia calling an Exalted Council. I hope she knows what she's doing with this. Exercising that kind of military authority doesn't bode well for the theocracy, especially in Ferelden. It is my experience that when faced with a choice, we back our king._

_Don't let my concerns dissuade you. This seems a good opportunity for you._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_I imagine news reached you of what's happened at the Conclave. Perhaps even you can see the Breach._

_We've fallen back to Haven. Seeker Pentaghast and Sister Nightingale have declared the Inquisition against the remaining clerics. Haste is in our best interest now, not indecision._

_There were six survivors of the Conclave, fallen out of a rift. Faeryn and Vestas Trevelyan (Marcher cousins - first and third in line to head the family), Seardea Lavellan, Tira and Imata Cadash (twin sisters working for the carta) and Atalanta Adaar (a mercenary Qunari). Atalanta's brother, Ankaios, has joined us. He was apparently scouring the ruins for her._

_I don't know if any of them are worth trusting, but all of them stepped up to fight back. I have to have faith in the Maker's plan for us._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_I have broken into the Temple where the Rite is kept. My only hope is that it has been preserved enough to be able to use it. Jowan tells me the warding spells are quite strong, so I'm hoping._

_I know the Rite of Cleanse doesn't seem like it should mean much, but Wardens have a thirty year cap after the Joining on their lives. Since Alistair and I are both Wardens, this means that a slim chance at conception is reduced to no chance. My mother rejoices from the Maker's side at this, but I want a child with Alistair. I yearn for that family, and I know he does too. He writes me constantly, telling me of how much he misses me and his hopes for our future. I want to have a family with him. Give him someone to love as intensely as he wished to be loved. I want to see him dancing with a son or teaching a daughter how to swordfight. I want to walk out of the castle into the gardens and see him and our baby napping in the sun, exhausted, from chasing Argonath and his puppies around. I wish for it for myself, but even more so for the happiness it will bring Alistair. I'm never so elated as when he is happy._

_Enough of my poetic waxing, I think. Dreams and hopes are for when the work is done. I will have what I desire, in time. Just have to pass the final door._

_As for your new allies, I suggest treating them honestly and fairly. You have no idea what happened in the Conclave, evidenced by you being alive. I have found the Qunari to be a blunt, but amicable folk, so Atalanta and Ankaios are unlikely to cause you any trouble. The dwarves are carta low enough to be spying, but high enough to be trusted to do so. I suggest accepting their possible contact benefits. I knew some Trevelyan, from Highever. They're a decent sort, usually. A family of clerics and Templars, though a decent portion of the less important members are useless. Lord Trevelyan isn't like to send a worthless heir to the Conclave, however. The Dalish are somewhat of a difficult people, in my experience. Honesty, whether cruel or not, goes a long way with them._

_If you need any further advice, simply ask._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_Your advice was well chosen._

_Atalanta and Ankaios largely keep to themselves, like they know they intimidate the other soldiers. A mage and a warrior Qunari in the army of the faithful - who would have guessed._

_Seardea isn't brash, persay, but she is harsh. She's taken well to the other elf, Solas, which I can only hope is a good thing. She's an eagle eye with a sharp wit that cut Chancellor Roderick down to the quick. I've never seen a cleric silenced so fast._

_The carta sisters indeed offered their contacts to Josephine (our ambassador), and they have proven useful. They also keep mostly separate, though I find Tira speaks with Josephine often._

_The Trevelyans are just as you said. Vestas was the heir apparent sent to the Conclave and Faeryn, his first cousin, was from the Ostwick Circle prior to its collapse. Faeryn seems to enjoy my company and my insight. She asks me many questions about templar life and Kirkwall. Vestas is perhaps the most polite man I've ever met. He never speaks out of turn, but he can weaponize a question better than even Leliana. He must have been in charge of dealing with Orlesians back home._

_I'm pleased to hear you've made progress._

_I don't think your fantasies are not worth consideration. You've been through very much, and I think that kind of solidarity is exactly what you need._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_Alistair informed me of the mages' misstep at Redcliffe. He also asked if you would be so kind as to pass on his apologies to Lady Faeryn for his ill temper at their meeting. You, of all people, know why he is protective of Redcliffe in particular._

_I appreciate you taking in the mages, though I also understand your reservations. I hope they can help you accomplish your goal of closing the Breach. It will not be easy._

_We made it into the Temple room, but there are two more fragments of the Rite, according to the inscriptions. On the upside, it is well preserved, so my hopes are not dashed. The rooms are hidden inside the Temple here, but we are not sure where._

_Just more time my excitement can't bear._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_Much has happened since I last wrote you. I received your letter just before Faeryn left to close the Breach. Shortly after their success, the monster responsible attacked us. Haven fell, against all our efforts. We are somewhere new - Skyhold. I've enclosed a map so you can change the path of your messenger bird._

_We are safe here, for now. I'm already working on fortifications. The structure needs repair, but has a solid core and intense strength._

_The Heralds are the inquisitors now and Faeryn's interest in me has only grown. She teases me now, friendly and familiar. I appreciate her company._

_Faeryn and Vestas had a vision of the future fighting the Magister at Redcliffe. The end of the world in a year's time. The monster, Corypheus, at its helm. The Tevinter who joined us, Dorian, is very valuable and pragmatic. I like him quite a bit, not in the last because he seems to appreciate the effort us "southern" Templars put into technique. Oh yes, and I am attractive, apparently._

_I hope you continue to find your fragments._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_Have you considered that Faeryn may find you attractive? You're certainly not hard on the eyes, any idiot can tell you that. I'm sure Leliana has made sure to. Perhaps you should make an effort to spend some time with her, if you return this attraction._

_I've had more success finding another fragment, though it was largely accidental. I cannot, as you can imagine, particularly adept at reading elvhen. I know some, because Alistair has some talent for the language. I stumbled across the lock to a secret passage trying to decipher the runes._

_I'm sorry to hear about Haven. I hope Skyhold fares better._

_The hour is late and I must be up tomorrow at dawn._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_So much is happening around us at such a fast rate. Cassandra has found that the Seekers have gone missing, I've discovered that Templars were being fed red lyrium by an old comrade, Samson, Josephine is getting letters about Venatori infiltration and all six of the Inquisitors are off on separate assignments in every corner of southern Thedas._

_We've got more recruits to the main company - Dorian (as you know), Sera, Iron Bull, Cole, Vivienne. Do you happen to know a Warden Blackwall? Tira recruited him at Leliana's request, but I am not so sure. Have you or Alistair experienced anything strange? Or those at Amaranthine?_

_Corypheus is some ancient Magister made darkspawn by entering the Black City. I hoped you would have some insight into possible effects he might have, considering he possesses an Archdemon._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?_

_I sent some letters to Amaranthine, Weisshaupt and Denerim. I'll get an answer for you. As for personal side effects, no. None._

_Blackwall was a Fereldan Warden who liked to work in Orlais. I never knew him personally, but Duncan thought highly of him. Ask him if he hears song._

_An actual Archdemon sings. It is beautiful and terrible and makes you want to drop to your knees in prayer and blood. It invades your dreams, tries to compel you as it does a horde. Alistair and I would sit up and discuss what we thought the song was, what language it was in. It's a hymn of the kind of blackness that takes you in death and every second of it is like drinking sweet wine. I still hear it when I recall the dragon's maw. But when it's done, and the Archdemon is dead, you want to choke and vomit. The wine was blood and the taste of iron lingers._

_Ask him if he hears that. Or if his dreams of the D_ _eep Roads and the memory of song haunt him in his waking hours. If he says he does, then inform me as soon as possible. We can't suffer another Blight so soon._

_Adessa_

* * *

_Adessa,_

_He informed me that he hears no such thing. I have never been so grateful. He did, however, look faintly ill after I let him read a transcript of your description._

_Maker, I hope nothing so terrible ever occurs again._

_Cullen_

* * *

He glanced up at the sound of a door cracking open and almost dropped his quill in surprise. 

"Hawke."

"One of, yes." She smiled bashfully, her eyes still as bright as he recalled and her black hair still short and wild. 

"How are-? I thought Varric said-"

"What Varric told you was technically the truth." She closed the door gently. "Airida is beyond reach, out with Isabela on her ship somewhere. Probably Antiva. Tyare is also gone, on the run with Anders and the rest of the mages. Bethany and Carver are both in Amaranthine with the Wardens. I was all that was left. The eldest who stands in the shadow of all her younger siblings."

"Why didn't he call you anyway? I recall you enough to know you were always there with them."

She looked away. "I came because Varric said it was important, but I couldn't come alone. I was in the early stages of pregnancy when Corypheus was set free, barely a month in."

"Oh, Maker." He needed to sit back down. "Varric knows?"

"Fenris is down in the keep with him now, introducing them." She came over to him, standing at the edge of his desk like she didn't know if she was allowed closer. "I know it hasn't been that long since you were in Kirkwall, but it was a mess."

"Putting it lightly." He scoffed. 

"I wanted to check up on you. See how you're doing, if the Inquisition has treated you well."

"Why?" He was genuinely confused. "I was a templar, I marched to Meredith's orders and did terrible things."

"I avoided you because I had two mage siblings, not because I didn't like you. Ill-looking and testy as you might have been, I knew a templar trying to do right by his charges when I saw one. And you did turn against Meredith in the end."

"I should have seen through her sooner."

"Yes, you should have." She softened, reaching out to touch his hand. "But Tyare should have known what Anders had planned. I should have known Cassandra would come to kidnap Varric. Everything's not cut and dry all the time."

"I'm . . . learning that more and more."

She tilted her head. "So, she's a mage."

"What?"

"The woman you're in love with."

He flushed right to the tips of his ears. Her shit-eating grin was too familiar. "I- Well, I-"

"It's okay. I won't tell." She winked and backed off. "Seriously, how are you?"

"I'm good. This feels like where I am meant to be."

"Do you need lyrium? I have some contacts who can get it for you. I can't imagine you've gotten it reliably."

"I . . . stopped."

"Aren't the withdrawals-"

"Painful? Yes. But I will not be bound to that life any longer."

She smiled softly, in the way she did when she spoke with her siblings. "If you die from the withdrawals, I will be so mad at you."

"I'll endeavour not to."

"That's what I like to hear. If you'd like to meet my little girl, Fenris will be by Varric, in a black cloak. He's got her."

"I just might."

It wasn't long after she slipped out to have her discussion with Faeryn that he found himself wandering into the foyer. 

"Hey, Curly, come over here." Varric waved him over. "There's someone I would like you to meet."

Like she said, Fenris was indeed covered in a black cloak, likely the only thing able to cover his markings. His hood was off now, though, and his white hair stood out starkly. 

"I take it Chance got to speak to you on the battlements, Knight-Commander?" Fenris greeted.

"She did, but I am no longer a Knight-Commander."

"I don't blame you. It's not a situation I would like to be in charge of either." Fenris moved aside his cloak and nestled there, in the crook of the elf's arm, was a tiny baby swaddled in soft grey cloth. 

"Oh, Maker's breath." He knelt down, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "She's beautiful."

"Her name is Anima." Fenris said with a smile, so soft and warm. It was heartbreaking to think he'd never seen the elf smile otherwise. 

"Anima. Hello, Anima." He couldn't help but grin when she caught his finger and began to mouth at the leather. 

"Chance had given birth a month and a half prior to Varric's kidnapping." Fenris said. 

"You can explain to the Seeker after she kills me why I refused to gather a Hawke, Curly." Varric stared down at his friend's babe, a far-off look in his eyes. "You can tell her why I wanted to protect this."

"I understand." He couldn't tear his gaze away from her. "How old now?'

"Seven months."

"You're very lucky. She's beautiful."

"I know I am lucky." Fenris leaned down to kiss her head. "If an escaped slave can have this, I hope a reformed templar can as well."

"You and chance are both concerned for me. Why?"

"You looked a step above a possessed corpse in Kirkwall." Leave it to Fenris to be blunt. "But you've got colour and luster back. I don't wish suffering on anyone - I've lived enough of it."

"I- I do?"

"You used to be this sickly shade of yellow, with sleepless rings around your eyes." Fenris peered at him through his bangs, the green of his eyes even more vibrant against the snow. "Your natural pink is back."

"Broody, will she have a lyrium resistance?"

"It is hard to say. Perhaps had I been her mother, I could be more certain." He stroked her face with the reverence of knowledge - someone who has seen and been nothing before now given the gift of control. He will make a good, careful father, built on love and respect.

"I don't know whether it would be a good thing." Cullen admitted. "Resistance is what makes the addiction worse."

"Have you considered what to do with her if she's a mage? There's a lot of magic in the Hawke bloodline."

"I've . . . considered it. Varania was magic as well." The look he gave the babe doesn't alter. "If no better option appears, Tyare and Anders will have to be enough."

"Chance said you could not find them, that they ran off." Cullen frowned. 

"They did." Fenris' eyes glint, remnant of a darker past. "But I know what their magic feels like. I can find them, if absolutely necessary. However, I don't feel magic in her now, Just as Chance is dormant."

"She is lucky to have a father like you."

Fenris and Varric both looked at him oddly, as if he didn't make sense. Then, the Tevene elf smiled. 

"One day." He said, then went back to tending his baby. 

* * *

_Cullen,_

_I received word back from Amaranthine and Denerim._

_Alistair reports that he does hear the Calling, but it is wrong. It's not song, it's whispers and scathing. He's been all over Ferelden of late, trying to quell darkspawn raids and red templar uprisings. It doesn't sound like it should, like it does when the Archdemon is overhead and the horde is around you._

_Nathaniel and Oghren both wrote me separately (surprising that Oghren was sober enough to read, let alone write). They report no major raids in eastern Ferelden like the Blight ones, but the patterns are similar to that of the Architect. Something Blighted but not a Blight is controlling this army and unsuccessfully attempting to usurp an Archdemon's place._

_Weisshaupt didn't reply. Something is amiss there, something dangerous. Clarel was an Enchanter before the Wardens and as such adept at paperwork, especially from a fellow Commander. Alistair couldn't get them to respond either. A dour place receiving dark news is no reason not to respond._

_I hope the information assists you in some manner._

_I have also been reading the walls here. It was an old elvhen site - worshipping what, I've no idea - but in the later stages was home to the dwarves. A friend, Sandal, is working currently on undoing the runes around the last fragment. The dwarves repurposed the Temple in order to perform the Rite, somewhere submerged but also close to the surface and away from the cities._

_We've actually found the red lyrium you told me about. I'll have more for you once the door is open._

_Keep me informed and good luck._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_Maker's breath, it's been a whirlwind._

_We managed to track Corypheus with the help of a Grey Warden named Stroud. One of his Venatori agents has infiltrated the Grey Wardens and has convinced Warden-Commander Clarel that she can preempt the Blights and therefore end the Calling. They're the Orlesian Wardens, so I don't think they understand entirely what they're hearing. Josephine asked Alistair to intervene, hoping another Warden might be able to talk them out of this madness, but the Wardens he found attacked him on sight. He was forced to kill them. Clarel would not speak to him._

_The eldest Hawke sibling has come to our aid, but I'm much more reserved about it than I had been previously. Her arrival revealed she recently had a baby. A little girl, only four months at time of writing. Her husband, Fenris, is primarily caring for the baby currently. He spends most of his time with Varric or sunbathing in the courtyard. This course will put her right in the path of danger and though she is no stranger to fighting, I fear what the consequences of her injury or - Maker forbid - her death would be. Faeryn and the other Inquisitors will be there, but I feel all the worse, knowing she's got a child._

_(I also fear the terror Fenris will unleash. He is a powerful, dangerous man with unique and dire abilities.)_

_Cullen_

* * *

"Wait, I know you."

Cullen stopped and looked over the edge of the battlement, down at where Dorian was standing with Fenris.

"You belonged to Danarius."

"Did, Altus."

He waited for Dorian to put his foot in his mouth. 

"When you killed Hadriana, he went into a right rage. Looked good on him. When news returned of his death at your hand, I was positively thrilled. I'm hardly one to judge for slave ownership, naturally, but his treatment of you in particular was abhorrent. And the tournament? Even by our standard, that was disgraceful. I'm glad you're free, and alive to be annoyed at seeing me here."

Fenris blinked. "I'll admit, that was not the reaction I expected, Altus Pavus."

"I know." Dorian's smile fell. "I don't blame you for mistrusting or hating me on sight. But I hope for the duration of your stay, we can at least be civil."

"Do you have a taste for blood magic?"

"Funny story, that. My father had plans to use it on me. Not a fan. Came down here, despite the chill and the revolting wine. Then my old sponsor allied with the demon that tore the hole in the sky and I decided to be noble, instead of being a noble."

Fenris nodded. "So then the rumours about you and Lord Trevelyan are true."

"Why would you ever assume that?"

"Southerners are not taught to hide their sexualities. As a Marcher, he's even less inclined."

"I suppose you would know best."

Fenris' smirk was sharp and lethal, but not dangerous. "Chance is a Fereldan with the heart of a Mabari, don't kid yourself."

"Doesn't let you get away with anything, I assume. Mine is much the same. But I hear you've a little one now. Do show."

Fenris shrugged open his cloak, Anima wincing and scrunching her face against the sudden flare of light. 

"Oh, isn't she marvellous. Hello, dear lady. How do you do?"

Fenris chuckled. "She's miffed right now."

"How so?"

"She's like a budgie. If it's dark, she sleeps, no matter what. Doesn't like to be disturbed much, though."

"Do you not carry her in a sling?"

"I have one for travelling that holds her to my side, but I prefer to carry her when I can. She . . . likes to feel my lyrium against her."

"Hmm. Maybe because it's warm? Can you tell if she is magical?"

"If she is, it hasn't revealed itself to me."

"I'm happy for you. I don't know if you recall, but we spoke on several occasions before Danarius did the ritual on you."

"It stripped me of my memory. I don't know."

"Shame. Danarius was a true barbarian." Dorian paused. "Many magisters are."

"Indeed. I am not sad to be gone."

"I hope one day, Tevinter will be a place someone such as yourself would wish to live in. Somewhere people would willingly shed blood to defend."

"Perhaps." Fenris mused. "Anything is possible. I don't believe anything will change there, but I do hope for it. No such state should exist free of consequence."

"Burn it to the ground and start anew. I like how you think."

"Maybe you will be enough. I am hardly one to say, Altus."

"I shall endeavour then, for both our sakes, to make Tevinter a place you little one would wish to visit, free from fear."

"Luck be with you."

* * *

_Cullen,_

_You're right to hear the anger of a man like him. If he asks to follow her, let him. It will be in the best interest of everyone involved._

_Sandal managed to crack the rune code around the door and we've acquired the last fragment. Jowan is working on the translation, but apparently the bones of it is that one must ingest an enchanted form of lyrium, wait a few hours as it seeps through you, then use an amulet to pull the lyrium from you. I believe the red lyrium I have found is the byproducts of this Rite, but no writings, either eleven or dwarven, hint at the Blight. I believe this predates it._

_My working theory is that when the elves fell, the dwarves used this place as a quarantine. During the tending of their ill, they found an elven alchemical recipe to cure the contagion, but the dwarves did not have the magic necessary. The substitutions and improvisation led to the creation of this lyrium - two life forces lashed together in one body, twice as powerful but all the more unstable for it._

_This magister, Corypheus, might have came across this recipe or possibly even the Temple itself. It's possible that he could have found this highly unstable material and used it's enormous power to enter the Fade. The very reason we have the Blight might be because the Fade was made sick. This . . . dwarven plague could be the answer for all of it._

_Forgive my enthusiasm. I give Jowan headaches when I theorize too much. He doesn't prefer to think about it. I have little else to do other than watch them work and the knowledge is prone to drive me mad._

_I don't know if passing this information onto the Inquisition is something worth them dealing with. Feel free to do with it as you will, however._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_I fear this information may come at too critical a time. I will retain it for myself until it is less of a scramble._

_Chance Hawke went to the Western Approach with Fenris and Faeryn and from the reports, they very nearly tore the Venatori man apart. He managed to escape, but only barely._

_By the time they returned, Airida Hawke had arrived. I'm not sure how they got correspondence to her, but she ported in Highever and came down. We have the Champion on our side now, and she will assist in the frontal assault of Adamant Fortress. I believe the addition of Fenris and Chance will depend on whether Varric insists on joining. If he does, I imagine they will stay behind. One does not go without the other, I am informed. Still no word on Tyare or Anders, but that's hardly surprising._

_The Grey Wardens, at Clarel's command, have been using blood magic to summon demons, enslaving their mages to Corypheus. I can't imagine why she would do something like this, even Circle trained as she is. Do you have more insight on her?_

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_She knew I would not approve._

_Should she survive your assault, leave her alive in your dungeon. I will see to her punishment._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_You would be almost proud, I think, of the events at Adamant._

_Most of the mages were possessed, but the warriors and rogues surrendered to us easily enough. The Inquistors' main company made it up to Clarel with Airida, Chance and Fenris in tow with Warden Stroud. (Isabela declined to go, stating she was done fighting wars and wished to get better acquainted with her new niece. Varric also remained, to actually take care of Anima.)_

_When the ritual began, one of the Warden mages revealed himself to be Anders, Tyare hiding in the shadows of the buttresses. They didn't manage to end the ritual and the portal was opened. The false Archdemon attacked them then and when the bridge they were on gave way, Faeryn accidentally opened a gateway into the Fade._

_The reports I received were fearful and painful, so somewhat incomplete. Apparently, the events occurred thusly:_

_Upon entering the Fade proper, both Anders and Fenris immediately began to feel negative effects. Justice partially ripped away from Anders and became "purified" (apparently he was manifesting more as Vengeance?) and Anders became somewhat incoherent. Fenris, on the other hand, had his lyrium flare dramatically and begin to burn. He's being treated for it, but it was not pleasant. Chance carried him much of the way. Cole also had a crisis, according to Solas, and is much happier out here now._

_Being led by a spirit that resembled the Divine (possibly Most Holy herself, we're not certain), they confronted the Nightmare, the demon Corypheus was using to augment his darkspawn abilities and project the false Calling. They defeated it, at the cost of Stroud's life, and managed to escape through the Rift summoned by ritual. The Wardens surrendered entirely all but immediately. After brief council, the Inquisitors decided to keep the Warden presence, though many are not in favour._

_It may be worse than ever for your Order when you return. Clarel died assaulting the Archdemon, but the Magister is someone we managed to obtain._

_We are grateful for this victory._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_I am returning. Send your next letters to Denerim castle, addressed to Alistair with a star next to his name. Once I've caught up there, I am coming to you._

_Adessa_

* * *

 

_Adessa,_

_That is not necessary. You have more than enough to worry about back in Ferelden without having to devote resources here. The King even said Ferelden was not in much position to aid._

_Besides, we've had to move fast. Corypheus is intent on sacking an ancient elvhen temple - looking for some artifact, Morrigan believes. We're in a race to beat him to the Arbor Wilds._

_Cullen_

* * *

 

_Cullen,_

_I know Ferelden is currently more dependant on your aid than you are on ours. Alistair keeps me abreast of the situation. That doesn't mean I've suddenly changed my mind._

_I can't make it to the Wilds, but I will meet you in Skyhold._

_Adessa_

* * *

He'd just finished reading the letter as he walked back into his office. Seardea had drank from the Well of Sorrows and the repercussions of it still boggled his mind. 

Magic made his head hurt sometimes. 

"Sir, you arrived just in time." Rylen said, a grim smile on his face. "Two Wardens have come to see you, very insistent. I let them into your office and posted guards."

"Thank you. I will see to them."

"Is there a problem, Commander?"

Faeryn appeared at his side, concern marking her brow. 

"I've got visitors, it seems."

"Do you wish for me to leave?"

"No. I might have need of you."

She nodded, lightning dancing between her fingers. "Lead on, then."

He opened the door, one hand on the hilt of his sword. What greeted him were two Wardens, one male and one female, standing in the middle of the room and speaking softly. 

"What business have you here?" He demanded. They both looked to be warriors - a frontal assault would be better.

The woman turned to him, a small smile on her lips. She reached up and pulled back the hood. 

"Maker's breath!" He rushed over, wrapping her in the tightest hug he could muster, enough to lift her off her feet. "I didn't- Was this what you meant in the last-? Maker, am I glad you're here."

Faeryn joined the other Warden. "Do they know each other?"

"Oh yes." He said. "They've been in correspondence for years. Eight, maybe nine now?"

"I . . . see."

The Warden dropped his own hood, a crooked smile on lips she last saw frowning in Redcliffe. "You needn't worry about them, Lady Trevelyan. She's my wife."

She jolted in shock, immediately bowing. "Andraste's mercy, King Alistair!"

"No need for that. Just Alistair is fine. If I wanted people to bow, I wouldn't have come dressed as a Warden." He dropped the smile. "Even so, I must apologize. My behaviour in Redcliffe was somewhat rash, and my treatment of you was unkind."

"There was a lot of stress there. I don't blame you for acting as you did."

"I appreciate that." He inclined his head, then turned his attention back to his wife. "That's my wife, Adessa Cousland. The Hero of Ferelden."

"You don't look any different." Cullen's smile was one she'd not seen on him before. She had to wonder what this relationship was. Why, since bedding her and proclaiming love, had he never disclosed it to her?

"You do. You look better, healthier."

"Wait, if both of you are here, who's running the country?"

"Anora is acting Stewardess, with Teagan as an advisor." Alistair answered. "It's not necessarily uncommon for a King to leave the castle, it's just that generally, the Queen or heir-apparent fills that role."

"I see. Still. It is so good to see you."

"I can't stay for too long, but Adessa is willing to stay."

"She can?" Faeryn asked. 

"A Warden-Commander can offer you more than the Queen of Ferelden right now, since you want to dodge issue with Orlais." He pointed out. "I just wanted to spend some time with her before she hit the road again."

"I see."

"Would you accept my services, Inquisitor?" The Queen asked. 

"We wound be honoured."

**Author's Note:**

> This got way long.


End file.
